Things You Won’t See On Facebook

Everything about my life is perfect. I am the best mom and wife ever, my husband is wonderful and my kids are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I only feed my kids healthy foods, never let them watch TV and plan new fun adventures for my flawless family every single day. What? You don’t believe me…..well it says shows it right here on my Facebook account so it MUST be true.

Facebook is a great escape. It allows us to see what is going on in everyone’s life and in return, allows us to show what is going on in ours. We are able to watch our friends and acquaintances life unfold, somewhat like a movie, and may even find ourselves envious of the lives that others are leading.

I feel like I am an open book most of the time. I am the first to make fun of myself, and will basically answer any personal questions anyone wants to know about me. Most of the time I actually offer up the information without even being asked…’re welcome!

So, I thought to myself while scrolling through Facebook today that I would post some things that I typically wouldn’t post on Facebook.

Sure, I am aware that waxing is what most women do to their facial hair, but I am also aware that shaving is much quicker. I remember friends telling me years ago that “once you start shaving your upper lip you will always have to.” OK, well luckily for me there is a razor at arms-length in my bathroom at all times. FYI, I only do this every couple of months. And NO…my upper lip does not feel prickly. If you don’t believe me you can go ahead and touch it the next time you see me at the grocery store!



I often post cute pictures of my wonderful, well behaved children. In between their broccoli and quinoa smoothies and before their french lessons. Here is what I am typically dealing with on a daily basis, however. A daughter who is obsessed with lipstick and who has temper tantrums like it’s nobody’s business. If memory serves me correctly, I believe my dearest little Laney Bug was hitting me in this picture because I made her get out of the lipstick drawer at Grandma’s house!



Child protective Services may need to get a call on this one but I may let the girls hang out in the back of the car while I drive Chase to the bus stop. In my defense, it is in the neighborhood and I probably should be more embarrassed with the fact that I actually drive to the bus stop at all. But I do… stop judging me!





The consistency of my hair is somewhat “pube-like” (pardon the french), if I don’t dry it correctly. Here is what it would like if I just showered and left the house for the day. Now you see why I just skip the shower on most days!






Sure, I show you the pictures of us picnicking at the park, building sand castles at the beach, or riding the camel at the zoo. What you don’t see are all the pictures of my kids watching TV at noon after I have had enough of all of the whining, hitting, picking, screaming, talking, spilling and pooping!






I could also post pictures of my messy house that I race around to clean up at exactly 4:30 pm every day before Pete gets home, or the macaroni and cheese the kids are eating while I am pinning nutritious meals that I will make “soon.”

I think it’s important to remember while scrolling through pictures on Facebook that people put forth what they want you to see. Behind every adorable family picture where everyone is smiling, there is a time out or screaming match for everyone to hold still and say “cheese,” that you don’t see. There is an exhausted mom, an over worked father and a bunch of messy kids who for a couple seconds that day have been bribed well enough to “smile dammit,” so that they can go on with the chaos in their lives.

In some form or another we are all looking for acceptance or approval from others and Facebook just helps us create our story for others to see. Keep in mind, there are always 2 sides to every story.





15 Responses to Things You Won’t See On Facebook

  1. avatar kellie says:

    One of your best! Thanks for the laugh and for posting. After my dear friends cleaned my house yesterday I was so embarrassed as they never see it that way (or bad I should say) and now they know what happens behind fb and closed doors. PS my hair looks like that too… however I only take it one step past that, now that I know I can take it 5 steps past that to what you normally look like I might need a lesson. 🙂

  2. avatar Amy Monachelli says:

    Jamie, love this. Would love to live in the same city with you so we could share a glass of wine (oh who am I kidding, a bottle of wine) while our children tear up our homes in the background. Great article and so true. It’s a very good reminder. And glad to see you aren’t perfect 🙂

  3. avatar denise says:

    Love this reminder that no one is living that perfect life that we all dream of.

  4. avatar Marisa says:

    Really great stuff, Jamie!

    Now, when can I come see your fabulous, new, perfect house and run my fingers across the silky smoothness that is your upper lip? =)


  5. avatar Lisa says:

    Thank you! So funny because its all so true. I laughed and felt a little more normal. My two year old throws a tantrum at least every three minutes. They are all over very important issues hmm… Nail polish/lipstick disasters, wearing her sisters cloths, pooping on the floor just to get a rise out of me, not being aloud to go to the grocery store naked, it’s one thing after the next. Thank you for honesty! I needed it.

  6. avatar Victoria says:

    so very funny and downright true. We are not perfect and neither is the world. When I was a mom, I tried to do everything perfectly single handedly and I am 66 now and just exhausted thinking back on how hard it all was. I learned that you can eat cereal from a box and ice cream for lunch when on vacation, and that sometimes I should have said no just because it was in my power to do so. I said no when necessary always, but sometimes I needed to do it for the hell of it! That being said, you need to be kinder to yourselves than I was… stress kills and dessert only makes you a little itsy bit fatter 🙂 good luck to all of you and thanks for lots of laughs… ( shave sometimes my entire face… you get cute and fuzzy when you get older)

  7. avatar Melissa says:

    Thank you!! As I read this I found myself saying “yes”, “exactly!!” “oh my gosh, are you spying on me?” lol..thanks for posting!

  8. avatar Jere says:

    I shave my upper lip with my husband’s electric razor. I too have been told that once I shave that upper lip I’ll look like a man. Whoever perpetuates that myth is a damn liar.

    Thanks for validating my choices, and making me laugh with your stories.

  9. avatar April says:

    Effing hilarious. I love u!!!!

  10. avatar Becca says:

    This couldn’t be more perfect! And so very true for all of us! I’m hoping you’ll put all these awesome thoughts into a book someday!!!

  11. avatar Jami says:

    Best post yet, Jamie! Way to keep it real. Perfection is so boring anyways!

  12. avatar Jami says:

    Best post yet, Jamie. Way to keep it real! Perfection is so boring anyways!

  13. avatar Denise says:

    You are priceless! Thanks for the laugh, but more importantly for the honesty. It is very refreshing!

  14. avatar Beth says:

    Thank you for this! I’ve been trying to choke down an overly large dose of carefully posted pseudo perfection since I discovered it on another blog last week. This was the spoonful of sugar I needed.

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