The Identity Crisis of the Stay at Home Mom

It can be difficult to maintain your identity once you become a mom…or at least a “stay at home mom”. You become “Chase’s mom”, you know… the tall one, who drops him off at school each day. She has two others…girls I think, though we don’t see them out of the car very often.

Just over a year ago, I hit a plateau. I wrote about my struggles with my identity and although it may have seemed that I was having a pity party, I was really feeling lost. I prayed, did yoga, popped pills (prescribed ones, and a healthy dose and basically just told myself to “snap out of it” on a daily basis.

I felt guilty for living such a great life and feeling crumby about it. I felt guilty telling my husband how stressed I was after he would get home from a full day of meetings and work overload. After all, I was able to stay in unwashed hair and yoga pants the whole day…who was I to complain? I didn’t have to deal with traffic or bosses and if I had a peanut butter hand print on my rear end nobody would even notice.

24-day-challenge-bundleA local preschool mom posted on Facebook about Advocare and how she was staring a 24 day challenge. I was intrigued since I have always been interested in health. I ordered it and after doing the challenge decided to sign up to be a rep. I loved the thought of selling something that would help change people’s lives and knew that I could be a motivator to those who came to me asking for help.

I began writing on Facebook about the challenge and how great it made me feel. I wrote about the benefits of the cleanse and the challenge and found myself helping people and making money at the same time. Not only was I able to talk about my passion each day to different people, I was able to contribute monetarily to the household bills and I loved that.

I started juggling being a parent, wife, blogger and Advocare rep and for the first time in a long time, felt like I had a purpose….in addition to keeping 3 little beings alive! I loved fulfilling a need in people’s lives and loved the social interaction it was giving me each day.

outside pics 022About a year later my husband and I accidentally started a wine charm business. My family was always getting their stemless wine glasses mixed up so we ordered some Swarovski crystals and magnets and figured out how to make decorative magnetic wine charms. People started asking if the could buy some …and then started requesting different products…..and so it began. It evolved into different types of wine charms, pendants and key chains…and all of the sudden Designs by Dazzle was created..

Local businesses began carrying our products and wineries began requesting their logos on our charms to sell in their gift shops and because of our busy work load my sister became a partner. I changed the kids playroom into an office and then made it more into a “showroom” where people could come in and shop.

meA few months ago I found an amazing mascara by Younique. I was already happy with my Estee Lauder mascara but after seeing the difference it made in the appearance of my eyelashes I knew right away that this was something else that I would be able to sell successfully.

I have now moved up quite a few levels with the Younique business and even have 20 reps on my team.  Once again I love the social interaction that I am having daily with not only my customers, but the ladies who have joined my team. I also love helping them be successful at what they are doing.

Sales is in my blood, it always has been. I joke with my friends that I am the “Costco” of our community, since you can basically buy anything from me. I know that I am probably being “hidden” on Facebook by people tired of seeing what I am “peddling” and maybe even defriended by some.

The truth is….I have found my identity. Yes, I am still a stay at home Mommy..and that will always be my most important title. However, with the absence of raises or bonuses at this “job” it is hard to measure real success and feel important.

Sure, I am still Chase, Reese and Lane’s Mommy. I am still the one threatening to take away points if they don’t take at least three more bites or telling them that if they don’t start cleaning up their playroom I will throw away their toys. I am the one rushing them every morning before school and yelling for them to stop arguing in the car….and of course I am the one wiping their tears when they fall.

I am still that mom who wants to pull her hair out precisely 213 times per day….but for a little bit of each day I am something more. I am someone who is contributing to the football camps and gymnastics and who is sharing her love for products with others. I am proud of myself, and I haven’t felt this way in a long time. My life is blessed in so many ways, and I can’t wait to see what else is in my future.






2 Responses to The Identity Crisis of the Stay at Home Mom

  1. avatar Sherri says:

    I could have written this post myself! Isn’t it an amazing feeling when you feel human again? I recently started selling Nerium and have found it to be very refreshing. Happy to hear you’re doing well! Love to read your posts :). You go girl!!

  2. avatar denise says:

    I’ve loved seeing you come out of your ‘funk’ of a year ago and turn into the Costco of Lakeland 😉 I’m proud to call you my best friend and love that we can improve the eyelashes of Lakeland together, one person at a time. I know that I wouldn’t have survived the last 5+ years without you – you’re an amazing wife, mother, friend AND salesperson and I love that you’ve ‘found’ yourself once again. xoxo

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