I remember getting dolled up every Friday night when I was younger, hoping to meet “Mr. Right,” or at least “Mr Right Now.” It would take me a full day of shopping for an outfit, getting my nails and hair done and rehashing the game plan to my friends.
When we would get to our location, I would scan the crowd waiting for my eyes to meet up with a target. If I saw someone who interested me, I would try to meet eyes with him so that I could give him the green light to come talk to me. If he didn’t, I would make that my regular hang out each weekend until we were forced to meet! It was exciting and nerve racking at the same time but I was on the hunt for a husband, and eventually I found him.
Now that I have been married for almost eight years, I spend closer to ten minutes or so getting ready. My husband knows what I look like all dolled up and if he forgets I just pull out some old pictures from when we were dating to remind him. The days of preparing myself so that I can make a connection have become a thing of the past…..or so I thought. Don’t worry, Pete knows all about it, I am not keeping it from him. Hang on, before you go searching Match.com for my new profile let me explain…..
I was at an indoor play park recently with my two youngest. I had showered that morning and put on one of my cleanest pair of yoga pants, while ditching the peanut butter filled sweatshirt for the freshly pressed new hooded Zela top. I re-did the girls pigtail braids and attempted to remove the jelly that had become a part of my three year old’s bangs. Their shoes were on the right feet, our Bonney Bell Strawberry Chapstick was freshly applied, and we were ready.
I scanned the room. After talking to some of the mom’s and kids that we were already friends with, I made my move. I looked around and smiled at everyone I came in contact with. Some of the mom’s stared back a little too hard, and for those, I looked away quickly and kept my distance.
I looked at the mom’s who had kids around the same ages as mine and studied them to see what types of snacks they were feeding them and how much snot was dripping down their children’s faces. I listened to hear how they spoke to their kids and sniffed to find out if they were letting them run around in poopy diapers.
When another mom and I exchanged the casual smile, I felt feelings inside that I haven’t felt in so long. The feelings were intensified if the child of the mother was around the same age as one of mine and they were not wailing on the kid next to them. If their child said please and thank you my heart skipped a beat and if I heard the mother give a warning of time out or punishment if the child was misbehaving, I knew that I had found “the one,” or at least one of the ones…..
I left that day with a few prospects in mind. I will be going back to that indoor play park soon. I will put on deodorant before I leave the house and even remember to brush my teeth that day. I will call my girls “love muffin” and “sweetheart” and toss baby sized carrots in their direction as they play in hopes to give the impression that I am a mom worth courting.
I will explain to my children before we go in, that they represent me and if I even hear a peep of potty talk I will be washing their mouths out with soap…or even worse, my meatloaf! I will leave the threats to sell them on Craigslist or take away their desserts for the privacy of our own car or home. I will use the inside of my sweatshirt to quickly wipe their noses if they drip and announce loudly that they must just be teething if anyone catches me.
I am looking for a connection, and it’s good to know that even though I am happily married…. I may find one again.