I Yell, Because I Have To

I never would have guessed that I would be a yeller. I always thought that I was way too easy going to let things bother me and would always stay cool, calm and collected. I managed to get through Chase’s first year without yelling. An adorable little toddler boy smiling and laughing all day…saying Mama and Dada, what’s there to yell at?

It’s been about 4 years now since I became the yeller that I am today. I am not proud of it, I have just become aware that that is what I am. In my defense, I am pretty sure that all of my children are deaf so the fact that I am yelling all day long doesn’t make me feel too badly.

Things get done when I yell. I am beginning to think that maybe I should just START OUT each request in a¬†holler, so that I don’t need to go through all of the agony of asking nicely the first three times. Something comes over me after asking nicely, and having it totally ignored…. a rage I can’t control.

This morning, I asked my son Chase to put his socks and shoes on for school. He said, “okay, Mom”, like usual and then five minutes later when I passed by his room, he was playing with some plastic animals without his shoes and socks. “Chase, pleeeeeez get your socks and shoes on…we need to get going to the bus stop and don’t want to miss the bus.” He chuckled a little bit and said, “oh yeah,” and headed to his room. One would think that he was completing the request that I had now made twice, but nope….another few minutes went by and he was still walking around the house with those damn plastic animals.

“GET YOUR SHOES AND SOCKS ON NOW!!!!” Apparently, I scared the crap out of him this time and he jumped a few feet in the air and began crying from being startled. He got his socks and shoes on and met me downstairs.

If asking nicely and talking sweetly would get my kids to do something I would do it. Heck, I am willing to sing song around the house with my requests….but that hasn’t worked so far. I am a yeller…and until they move out, I think I always will be.

 

20 Responses to I Yell, Because I Have To

  1. avatar Maria says:

    I feel your pain. I always thought I would never yell at my kids, and 7 years later, that is the only thing that gets results. I ha

  2. avatar Maria says:

    I feel your pain. I always thought I would never yell at my kids, and 7 years later, that is the only thing that gets results. I ha

  3. avatar Angie says:

    I hate yelling at my 7 year old boy and then having him cry- I get so torn between wanting to comfort him and remind him that if he’d done as I asked the first 3 times we wouldn’t be sobbing 10 minutes before the bus leaves!

  4. avatar Amy says:

    I’m so glad I’m not the only mom who has yell to get her daughter moving.

  5. avatar Alison says:

    Not only am I a yeller, apparently when I “angry yell” I sound like satan. My kids call it….”the mean mommy voice”…so if you ever figure out a way to get your kids to do something without yelling…PLEASE let me know. (p.s – I always tell them that I yell because I love them..they always reply; well then you must love Dad alot”)

  6. avatar michelle says:

    Oh…how I hate yelling! BUT for sure it works and now I totally feel normal…I was beginning to think I was a horrible mom. thanks for making me feel normal, although I have been working on this and have asked my kids on occasion why I need to yell to make them respond and the answer I got was “mom sometimes we are just naughty” …so how do I argue that one!

  7. avatar Irene says:

    Thank heavens I’m not the only one even though I feel like a real witch but that is the only way I get my son to do something. I think my neighbours are wondering what the heck is going on in our house.

  8. avatar heather says:

    My kids not if I’m at the point of yelling. They’ve either messed up really bad or they’ve been screwing up all day. You are right however about yelling is the only way they listen. I never understand how teachers can be so calm and pleasant to get things done. Let us all know when you come to something else that works.

  9. avatar Shiloh says:

    I am so glad I’m not the only one that hes to yell to get my kids to listen. I hate that I do but it is all that works.

  10. avatar Patty says:

    Thank you all! It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who feels like getting a little angry and raising her voice gets things done.

  11. avatar Emelda says:

    I truly enjoyed this piece. I have four kids ranging from 3-13. I feel like no one listens until my head is spinning and I’m blowing smoke out of my ears! That is not what I want my kids to remember when they grow up, but geez, we need to come up with some ideas to make things happen without getting a sore throat and headache!

  12. avatar lynn says:

    LOL oh gosh! LOVE your honesty . . . I can relate to this & could’ve written this myself!

  13. avatar Shasta Rogers says:

    I also hate to think of what my daughter’s childhood memories will be like. It often seems that when I ask her to do things nicely she thinks it’s a joke. She only takes me seriously when I yell. I often find myself thinking, I love this little person more than anyone else in the world but I would NEVER speak to anyone else the way I do to her!

  14. avatar crystal says:

    I felt so bad everyday that I was yelling at my kids but after reading this I have hope in my heart that I know its just not me or my kids. That everyones kids are deaf… Thanks!!!

  15. avatar Suzie says:

    I also normally start out nicely asking 3 to 10 times could you please do this. When I don’t feel like yelling or letting my 13 year old try to ruin every ones day with her you suck attitude I sing to her. She hates it but S*&% gets done. All you have to do is add rella to the end of their names and sing the tune. Lucyrella Lucyrella night and day its Lucyrella. They think its cute when they are younger not so much when they are older.

    • avatar Suzie says:

      ohh I forgot, depending on your child you can get the yelling to stop for a few hours,days or weeks with this one.
      I once told my 13 year old when she was 5 or 6 that we had another kid before her but he didn’t like to listen and be good so we had to lock him in a closet at grandmas and we didn’t want the same thing to happen to her so we should work on being better.
      As I write that it doesn’t sound so nice but when your driving down a 8 lane road with a kid acting up in the back you just spit shit out your mouth. She doesn’t believe me now but once admitted she looked in grandmas closet.

  16. avatar Suzann says:

    I became a “screamer” as well after my 4 kids under the age of 7 wore down my last nerve. I completely understand this weird transformation, & would also like to mention that the louder I yell the more they would just prefer a spanking instead! My husband thinks everyone is going deaf but it definately makes me feel better.

  17. avatar Cristina says:

    Hi! Same situation. Thanks for share.

  18. avatar Julie Bee says:

    I yell sometimes too but then I find nobody feels good in the end so I try a new approach I keep a firm voice and explain what I want them to do then I count if I get to 3 they go for a timeout or to the room unroll they do what I asked. I find if I’m consistent there’s no need for yelling and everyone feels better more importantly they start listening because they know what will happen if they don’t. but it’s so easy to fall back into that yelling but I hate it. Once I start its like w snowball and I feel like that’s all I’m doing therefore I.feel like carp all the time. If I’m consistent and they know what to expect I can enjoy my kids. Oh I forgot to mention depending on the situation I’ll take away toys or privileges too.

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