Me: “No, Chase.”

Chase: “Honey told me that if I pick my nose I will pick my brain out.”

Me: chuckles to self

Chase: “Mommy, is my brain pink?”

Me: “Yes.”

Chase: “Oh good, I didn’t pick my brain out cause this stuff is green.”

One thing my husband Pete and I have learned over the course of the past week is that we have acquired a lot of crap stuff over the years. This family of five was ready to purge before the big move so this weekend I decided to have a garage sale. I am fairly new to the garage sale world and would like to share these 6 things that I learned.

1. Now that Facebook is so prevalent, people prefer for you to post a picture of something for sale before they hop in their car and make the 1.5 mile journey to come see it in person.
2. No matter what has a $1 sticker on it, people will always offer 50 cents.
3. When you explain to them that the never used vase that is still in the box with the price sticker of $24.99 on it is worth the $1 value, they will put it back because they couldn’t get it for 50 cents.
4. The items that are NOT for sale, (i.e. scissors and tape used for making signs, single Toms shoe my daughter left in the drive way, my laptop I was using, the camping chair I was sitting in), are usually the most desirable objects.
5. The most random things sell quicker then the normal things.
6. People like to critique garage sale signs and give you advice on what you should have done and where you should have put them, even though they obviously got them there.

Who knew that having a garage sale could be so much fun! Friends and family members stopped by to hang out, and even brought Skinny Girl Mojitos and lattes for us to enjoy in the driveway. I made money for my family and got rid of a ton of items that we now don’t have to lug over to the new house. Today is Monday, and already I am looking around the house in hopes that I can get together another pile of items so that I can have another one next weekend!

Chase, our 5 1/2 year old has my curly hair and Pete’s brains and loves making people laugh….just like both of us. He takes a while to warm up in social situations, like his father and enjoys routine like his mother. He has his father’s athletic abilities and his mother’s need for approval. He is the child who has had bagels and cream cheese for lunch 95 out of 100 days of school and just this morning laid his outfit out for tomorrow’s school day. He is the perfect combination of both of us.

Reese, our 3 1/2 year old has Pete’s lanky body and my ears. She laughs at all her own jokes like her mother and the same slow to warm up attitude as her brother and father. She loves singing like me and eating chocolate and candy like Pete. She is the child who asked me if “I remembered to bring the hairdryer” before going in a pool on a recent vacation and who asks around noon each day days if it is “good morning time” or “night time.”

Lane, our 2 year old has my nose and Pete’s eyes. She is impatient like her mother and giving like her father. She is probably the biggest ham out of all of our children, like me, and the most organized, like her father. She is the child who only lets us read a couple pages of a book before ripping it out of our hand to go on to the next one and who will only eat smoothies, crackers and bananas with almond butter on them.

Watching their little personalities develop over the years has to be one of the greatest things about being a parent. They are all so different in so many ways, just like my husband and I are. When I look at each of them I know that I picked the right partner. If it wasn’t for him, there would be no them… and without them there would be no me.

Massage practice – 36

I am an active, athletic, attractive guy who has been fortunate to have volunteered for massage students who were practicing their massage techniques. I had so much fun that I would like to practice giving massages of my own. This is not a request for anything more than the opportunity to practice my massage skills and nothing is expected, although positive feedback would be appreciated. I’m 6’2″, 195 lbs, in great shape, and am good with my hands. If you think you might be interested, let me know.

Dear Massage Practice-36

You seem like a very charitable young man to donate so much of your free time to underprivileged massage students. I love that this has become such a passion for you and you are now willing to go on and share the love with others in need. Whenever I book a massage at a local spa I always wish that there some way for me to see a nude picture of my masseuse before hand so that I know what I am in for. I think it is smart to also include all of your stats because it is useful knowledge before I get a rub down. Please put me down for Wednesday at noon. See you soon!

Sincerely,

Mommy with a sore neck

It seems like “I’m hungry,” is the most used phrase in this house. Whether it is the first thing in the morning or 20 minutes after lunch, “I’m hungry” seems to fly out of my kids mouths. Since there are 3 of them, I might as well pull up a chair and spend my days in the pantry.

The other day I came up with a plan and so far, (knock on wood) I think it is working. First, I got out a piece of paper and pen and had Chase write “kitchens open” on one side of the paper and “kitchens closed” on the other side. We got a piece of tape and I then explained to all 3 kids that the kitchen would only be “open” during certain hours of the day.

The “Kitchen is Open” first thing in the morning for breakfast. I give them their beverage of choice along with their healthy meal. I ask them if they would like a second helping and when they answer no, I send them upstairs to brush their teeth, then change the sign to “Kitchen is Closed.”

The “Kitchen is Open”  for lunch around 11 or 12 and I follow the same routine. I give them a few sandwich/bagel options, a fruit and another item if they choose, along with a drink of choice, (their choices are milk or watered down juice).

When Chase gets home from school at 3:30 pm the kitchen re-opens for a snack, but I set the timer for 5 min and they have to tell me what they want in that 5 minute period before the buzzer goes off. I have a menu in the playroom with their snack choices. They do not have to finish their food in that 5 minutes but I will not get them anything else after the timer goes off, until dinner time.

At dinner the family sits down together and everyone must tell me if they need anything else BEFORE I sit down. If they need  seconds, I will oblige as long as they have eaten the other items on their plate.

We stopped doing dessert every night. I cringed at the fact that they expected dessert and looked forward to unhealthy foods at the end of each day. Now they can have dessert a few times a week and it is usually air popped popcorn with nothing on it, strawberries dipped in brown sugar and sour cream (I know it sounds weird but it is delicious), or we do a family trip to the yogurt shop up the street. However, they earn trips to the yogurt shop by getting points for staying in their bedrooms until 6:30 am in the morning. 1 pt per morning and when they get 5 points they earn a trip to the yogurt shop.

I may not have found the cure for cancer or solved any economic crisis, but this stay at home mom is pretty proud of herself this week. My kids aren’t walking around the house with food in their mouths at all times and I have managed to stay out of the kitchen for more than 10 minute intervals. I would say that is a huge success, in my book!

We try to maintain our mojo all day, each day, but obstacles get in the way, like sicknesses (for the kids, moms don’t have time to get sick), missed buses, bills,forgotten school lunches and so many other unforeseen things. We go and go  all day doing things for others that we usually have little time for ourselves and for most of us we are “ok” with that….because we know that it is our “job” and if we have to let massage Groupons expire and cancel hair appointments because we can’t fit it in between ballet, math club, and sick kids we tell ourselves that it is not our time…but it will be soon enough.

We hold a special place in our heart for our life long friends but find that our “new” friends we have made since motherhood fill the void at this time in our lives, and for them we are thankful. Discussions about the first day of Kindergarten, the swine flu and why our husbands can’t seem to put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher make us feel that we are not doing this alone.

We have loving spouses who are wonderful and everything that a husband and father should be but leave our chaotic world daily for business trips and meetings, and although we know that they are not “off at a party,” they are being social. They are up-to-date on current events and have more energy to discuss politics, sports and weather rather than spit up, time-outs and tonsillectomies.

My “new” friends don’t know what I was like before kids. They don’t know the guys that I dated or what my first apartment looked like. They have no clue which classes I took in college or when I got my first speeding ticket. They weren’t there for so many pivotal moments in my life, but right now, during this time they are my rock.

We know that we won’t finish a thought or conversation without being interrupted by potty talk or crying and that today’s yoga pants were most likely last nights pajamas. We don’t have to explain why our kitchen floor is always sticky or why there is art work written on our couches. There is an unspoken bond between us and we are all aware that we are each going through the motions of our day in hopes that we can hold it all together, or at least give the allusion that we are.

Years later, when I turned 30 I became a mom…and then again at 32…and then for the last time at 34. I now know exactly what my mother meant, and for those who don’t have children yet, or never will, it is a feeling that is indescribable, intense and more powerful than any other feeling I have ever known.

I feel ill when I am not with them….or when they are not with me. I long so much for the shopping outing or for the adults only vacation but a part of me is missing when they are some place else…or should I say MOST of me is missing when they are not there.

My breath gets taken away so easily in the past 6 years. Whether it is watching Chase grab for his sister’s hand instinctively while crossing the street, Reese telling me I am the most wonderful Mommy in the world, or Lane looking into my eyes like I am the only person who can make her feel better, it takes my breath away.

I worry about their future; lose sleep over it actually. I worry that Chase seems to be a follower nowadays and although he is bright, funny and articulate I’m afraid he may be easily persuaded to do things in the future. I worry about the fact that he is sometimes so painfully shy that it kills me inside to watch him. I know that he warms up after a little bit, but those first minutes make me just want to hug him and make him feel at ease.

I worry that Reese wants to be with me 24-7 and that she will always feel like the middle child no matter what “special” things Pete and I may plan for her. I fear that she won’t feel like she is as smart as Chase or as pretty as Lane even though she is perfect the way she is.

I worry that Lane will miss out on things because she came so late in the game. I worry that once it is “her” time I will be so sick of library story times, volunteering in the class and creative Valentine’s Day treats. I worry that she will know that she was “unplanned” when she gets older and may feel less than the other two, even though I know that God brought her to me knowing that she would be the love of my life.

“You won’t understand until you have kids of your own some day.” That’s one of the truest sentences I have ever heard. It’s funny how you can live so much of your life feeling complete and content and then you have children and you realize that you weren’t even close…..until now.

That being said, here are some things I won’t miss about home while on vacation:

• Team Umizoomi. That’s not a knock on the TV show, I am just really looking forward to not having it on in the background at my home.
• Kids music in the car. I am pretty sure that the adults we are going with won’t request The Wheels on the Bus or The ABC’s, but if they do, I am putting my foot down and saying, “no” since, I can’t do that at home.
• Kids coming into my room during the middle of the night claiming to be scared or not tired.
• Kids coming into my room EARLY in the morning requesting food, milk, TV, etc.
• Preparing meals and snacks for picky eaters that ask for a million things and then are “not hungry any more” once they are handed them.
• Carrying and buckling kids up in car seats.
• Saying “no, you can’t have gum,” 100 times a day.
• Sharing my chapstick with the whole car after they see me use some.

Things I will miss while I am on vacation: all of the above, and then some!

My husband Pete and I discussed what we think the *most* frustrating thing about raising our 3 toddlers is, and hands down we both agreed it was dinner time. We recently got rid of our tall square family table with bar stools and replaced it with a long rectangle table which would be more conducive to dinners for 2 adults and 3 small children. Seems that one of them was always falling off one of the bar stools with our last table and we envisioned more calm and stress free family dinners with our new set up….. it was a nice thought while it lasted!

Our intentions are good each night when we all sit down for dinner. Pete and I smile lovingly across the table at one another, thinking tonight it is going to be better. Those smiles disappear within seconds when we realize that our kids table manners would be better suited for a zoo or barn of some sort.

Every kid seems to have yet ANOTHER request the moment we all sit down and the family dinner table seems to turn into a revolving door with my husband and I getting up for more milk, ketchup, yogurt, spoon instead of a fork and basically anything you can imagine that a kid would want more of at dinner.

In between the getting up and down 30 times an evening Pete and I take turns saying things like, “take another bite, sit up straight, wipe your mouth, you can’t have any more cottage cheese until you eat your lasagna, and it isn’t polite to toot at the dinner table.” It’s non stop and our once high hopes for a pleasant meal are again down the drain…along with most of everyone’s dinner.

I know that with a five, three and one year old this frustrating night time routine will only get better. I am aware that my issues in the future will be that everyone will be too busy to sit down together for family meals and that soccer, dance, friends and underwater basket weaving will take precedence over quality family bonding.

I know that I need to be cherishing this precious time while they are young but it is an exhausting task that leaves my husband and I feeling defeated each night. I am always looking for ways to make our nighttime routine run more smoothly and decided to try out some new things in the weeks ahead to see if they help.

I decided to start taking the kids to the store with me at the beginning of each week to pick out their vegetables, fruits and other healthy items for the week. That way if when they tell me that they “don’t want carrots,” I simply remind them that is what they selected and to keep eating. They also seem pretty excited to walk around the store knowing that they are picking out their own groceries for the week and take pride eating what they have selected, instead of what I have selected for them.

Next, I have the kids help me with the dinner preparations. Chase loves to crack eggs while Reese loves to stir things for me. Both of them have really enjoyed being responsible for setting the table and have even started taking it a little too seriously, including folding napkins and writing each persons name on them. There is almost always a battle over who to place where but I let them work it out.

I recently purchased a game from Melissa and Doug called Family Dinner Game. It is a box of questions to create clever conversations at dinner time. The kids love this game and we can bribe them with taking a few bites before we go on to the next question. It is pretty funny to hear their answers to the questions and is fun for my husband and I to engage in them as well.

The last thing is that I try to troubleshoot before the meal starts. Finding out what they want to drink and what kind of sauces they are going to need is helpful. Knowing that Reese will eat her chicken with a fork and then will request a spoon for her cottage cheese is useful information before we all sit down.

I know that some day in the distant future we won’t have to tell Reese to keep eating 20 minutes after the rest of us are finished and that Chase will stop leaning his chair back after he has fallen for the 100th time. I know that eventually Lane will eat more than cut up bananas with almond butter on top of them and that at some point Pete and I will be able to enjoy our meals without getting up 20 times. I am fully aware that this day will come, but until then I will keep coming up with creative ways to manage the chaos that is present daily in my household.