A Few Reasons I Won’t Be Winning “Mom Of The Year”

You have to admit, nobody is the perfect parent. Sure we all want the best for our kids…yadda yadda yadda, but we also get annoyed, tired and down right upset with them too. I’m not saying that I am a horrible mother or anything, I just would like to point out that I *may* do a few things off of the list below. Unless you think it is wrong…then I don’t do any of them.

 

  • A part of me gets excited when the kids are sick because that means I can’t feel guilty for letting them lay around and watch TV all day.
  • I feel like bathing the kids daily just contributes to their excema.
  • When my kids ask for me to “play with them,” I reach for the phone as fast as I can to text a friend over for them.
  • I pick out toys based on what they can play with by themselves.
  • If one of the kids brings me a toy that they need help with I sometimes tell them it is broken to get out of it.
  • I skip pages while reading books to my two youngest children. If they were really¬†paying attention they would realize that none of the stories ever make any sense.
  • I threaten to take “points” away when the kids are misbehaving and have no idea what that means…and neither do they. For some reason it scares the crap out of them.
  • I sing Happy Birthday at the top of my lungs the second I hear the ice cream man and continue until I can’t hear him any longer so that my kids don’t know that he is in the area.
In my defense, when the kids are in their teens I am sure they will be pulling stuff over on me right and left. They will be driving me crazy, just like they do now…but in a more deceitful way. The way I look at it, I am just beating them to the punch.

 

3 Responses to A Few Reasons I Won’t Be Winning “Mom Of The Year”

  1. avatar jaime says:

    Love your blog Jamie, it cracks me up!

  2. avatar Cindy H says:

    Very funny! I won’t be winning Mom of the Year either, that’s for sure. My two adorable little girls turned into teenagers when I wasn’t looking, and you are right, they are pulling stuff over on me left and right. Damn, I’m pretty sure they’re plotting against me. When you get to the teen years, it’s not much better, I’m sorry to say. They still act exactly like toddlers…wild mood swings, strange sleep patterns, irrationable behavior, crying fits and screaming. Wait..that last one is mostly me. Only now I can’t I bribe them with candy anymore, so use as many candy bribes as possible while you still can!!

  3. I am a new blogger (a mom, but i don’t blog a ton about mommi-ness, so i won’t say a ‘mom blogger’). Anyway, I am looking for some other humor blogs for some inspiration and just to see what is out there and really enjoyed this post. Check out my blog if you have a chance: http://www.peckedtodeathbychickens.com/

    I am going to ‘like’ your blog from my facebook blog page…cheers!

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